Hello Journal! I was updating my assignments and found that I need to discuss my own cultural background and the connections I see with my decision to teach and the results I see in my teaching.
I am a student who went back to school after my own children were in school. Which is so unlike the parents of today. The younger parents that I come into contact with at my school are parents who are working one or two jobs and some of the parents are in school. The majority of parents are not thinking about college for themselves but do look forward to the success' of their students.
I am a white born middle class girl who grew up in Missouri away from the extended family with two brothers and a mother who stayed home and a father who drove trucks for a living. I would say that due to the area I grew up in I led a rather sheltered life, unlike those I teach. My grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles all lived in Iowa. My grandmother on my father's side was a one room schoolhouse teacher and taught my father and uncles the majority of their education. My mother and father graduated high school but neither went on to college. My mother did go back to get her CNA and CMT certification after I moved out. I married young and had my children young. I married into a very strong black family. When I say strong I mean that the family does everything together and there are connections to all family members within the same city. This experience has also shaped my culture and I value the experience.
The connections this short synopsis of my education has on my decision to teach I would have to say I do not have an idea why I became a teacher. I do know that I went back to school intending to get certified so I could teach in the Head start schools my own children attended. In the process of taking classes at the Junior college I fell into Recreation Therapy and became Certified as a therapist. I worked for three years in nursing homes as an Activity Coordinator and I loved the job until the residents began to die in mass numbers one year. I had to give up the job, I couldn't handle the deaths and I felt my children needed me at home. My youngest were in fourth grade when I made the change. I found a job working in the school district as a para professional and loved the work. I was then offered a job in my children's school working with a child with autism and decided to go back to school. I saw the work the teacher's took home and swore I would not be a teacher, there was too much work involved. Long story short, I began teaching when my oldest child started his senior year at Wyandotte High School.
Although the journey has been long and uncertain I do know that the experiences I had living in the same community as the students helped tremendously with my ability to touch base with the parents I served. I believe the best thing a teacher can do is to develop those relationships with the parents and make connections in any way possible.
As I look back, I realize that many of the things my students parents are going through, I went through with my own children. I can make those connections and I empathize with the struggle. I can see many of the teachers I work with do not have an understanding of choices during times of struggle. As a parent who worked a job and went to school I understand that homework was not a priority at times in our home. Times my children were taken out of school on a Friday to spend the weekend with grandparents who lived out of town. Teachers without children who have not made choices between their job and food on the table do not always have the understanding of the struggle these parents must make. The surrounding conditions that people live in are not by choice but by needs. The people may have immaculate homes, inside, but they do not control the outer portions of their communities and we must live the way we live. I believe that the biggest thing my background has given me in connection to teaching, is an empathy towards the parent condition. If I had not married my husband and moved to the areas around Quindaro, I would be just like some of the younger teachers in our buildings who do not understand why this child will not follow directions when asked to sit down. My experience has led me to understand the differences, accept the differences and build upon the differences. I will not look at the differences in choices as good or bad, only different.
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Journal 2 February 11
February 11, 2010
It has been one since I last talked with my practicum supervisor. The meeting was good but not complete. It was not the fault of Mary - it was my sporadic schedule. I didnt have time to really sit down on parent teacher conference day as I have in the past. This year I was asked to sit in on many of the meetings and even forgot one of the meetings I had set up the prior week to discuss a behavior plan on one of the students on my caseload. That was a wake up call to how busy I have actually been this year. I have noticed that I don't have time to sit and make out IEP's like I did last year, but I really didn't make the connection before that day. Before teachers didn't want me there or didn't think about the importance of my input. This year teachers whom I work with closely called me about all my kiddo's and even some with whom I work closely with but are not on my caseload.
To top that off I have been grappling with some of the requirements of my job that I would love to say I am great at - but let's be honest! I worked as a kindergarten teacher for five years before transferring over to special education and I really had a handle on teaching sounds, stretching out sounds, concepts of prints, rhyming words, beginning words, making meaning, making connections and managing difficult behaviors. I felt that I would make a good addition to any team! I felt good about what I was able to do and my knowledge base. Plus I was ready to move on. I didn't know that I had a supportive team that when they saw a person's weakness the IC's would work together to give you just enough information with encouragement that you would come out on top every time! I didn't know that I would spend a year out treading water without a lifeboat:) I found that a team of encouraging yet stern people out weighs personal growth options every time. The past two years I have been told to teach guided reading, but not to teach guided reading and now I am being told to teach guided reading again. Now, I have actually been given some information and some suggestions on areas to improve but we are in February! By the time I feel like I have an understanding of the process I will be saying good bye to this years students! I feel like the understanding will never be there and depression begins to set in. Especially with the ever increasing behaviors and meetings and requirements as the list grows so does my stress level and down goes the self image. I know that I am a good teacher but I do not have the self confidence to actually trust that the guided reading issue will soon dissolve itself and the abilities will soon increase. I will begin to feel that I have a handle on the pressures of this job, but when will that happen?
It has been one since I last talked with my practicum supervisor. The meeting was good but not complete. It was not the fault of Mary - it was my sporadic schedule. I didnt have time to really sit down on parent teacher conference day as I have in the past. This year I was asked to sit in on many of the meetings and even forgot one of the meetings I had set up the prior week to discuss a behavior plan on one of the students on my caseload. That was a wake up call to how busy I have actually been this year. I have noticed that I don't have time to sit and make out IEP's like I did last year, but I really didn't make the connection before that day. Before teachers didn't want me there or didn't think about the importance of my input. This year teachers whom I work with closely called me about all my kiddo's and even some with whom I work closely with but are not on my caseload.
To top that off I have been grappling with some of the requirements of my job that I would love to say I am great at - but let's be honest! I worked as a kindergarten teacher for five years before transferring over to special education and I really had a handle on teaching sounds, stretching out sounds, concepts of prints, rhyming words, beginning words, making meaning, making connections and managing difficult behaviors. I felt that I would make a good addition to any team! I felt good about what I was able to do and my knowledge base. Plus I was ready to move on. I didn't know that I had a supportive team that when they saw a person's weakness the IC's would work together to give you just enough information with encouragement that you would come out on top every time! I didn't know that I would spend a year out treading water without a lifeboat:) I found that a team of encouraging yet stern people out weighs personal growth options every time. The past two years I have been told to teach guided reading, but not to teach guided reading and now I am being told to teach guided reading again. Now, I have actually been given some information and some suggestions on areas to improve but we are in February! By the time I feel like I have an understanding of the process I will be saying good bye to this years students! I feel like the understanding will never be there and depression begins to set in. Especially with the ever increasing behaviors and meetings and requirements as the list grows so does my stress level and down goes the self image. I know that I am a good teacher but I do not have the self confidence to actually trust that the guided reading issue will soon dissolve itself and the abilities will soon increase. I will begin to feel that I have a handle on the pressures of this job, but when will that happen?
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Journal 1
February 1, 2010
This will be my second year working as a special education teacher with the Kansas City Kansas Public School District. This year I am working with Kindergarten, First Grade and Second Grade students with ranges of disabilities from learning disabilities, developmentally delayed and autism spectrum disorders. Although this is not a complete list of the ranges in disabilities I serve, it gives a broad idea. I came into this field through the long scenic journey. By this I mean I began as a parent, I then became a para professional, from there I worked to become a teacher. I taught in the same school my children went to school for 5 years before taking the plunge into special education. That gives you an idea of where I have come from and where I will be going with special education. I believe I am more in tune with the parents needs and making them comfortable when trying to make them understand their power in the process of supporting their children.
The classroom I am currently residing in is used in a variety of ways. Currently all the special education teachers and para educators have desk and work areas and storage in this room. The bridge teachers use the room for reading instruction. The special education team works in general education classrooms at all times - we are totally collaboration with no pull out services this year. It was a hard journey but it is beginning to work. In the morning before school you will find the teachers here discussing students and building relationships. During the school day you will be lucky to find us in the same area of the building together for more than 15 minutes. We are a large school with 600 students. Of the 600 students we service 50 students with IEP's and other students in the classrooms who show the same needs and weaknesses as our identified students.
Now my caseload - I have 9 kindergarten students who are in the same classroom from mild disabilities to autism spectrum disorders. I have 6 first grade students who are primarily learning disabled students and I have 6 second grade students who range from learning disabilities to ODD behaviors. I have one student who has a shunt in his head and has been over protected his career in school. I am fighting his learned helplessness, as we are finding he is able to do a lot of the work but tends to wait or ask for help instead of trying for himself! I have another second grade student who exhibits the characteristics of an ODD child and he does not follow rules or behavior plans that have been developed. Another second grade student refuses to believe he can do his work but when he has a good few moments, he is able to surpass the amount of work other students do - with accuracy! The other 3 students have ESL concerns that work against them as does their disability. The first grade students are wonderful! They want to learn, they try and they just dont get it! I do have one student who speaks spanish and tends to use the, "I dont understand what you are saying" card with me but she generally does her work and shows progress. The kindergarten classroom has nine students with disabilities. This classroom has had more than its share of disruptions for the year. The teacher had maternity leave from Halloween to just before Christmas break. In this classroom the students are ready to learn they want to do a good job and they put forth their best effort, usually. I have noticed that a few of the students have ESL issues and wonder about the accuracy of testing as some of the disabilities (used loosely) are associated to their language and understanding. In this kindergarten classroom is also one student who has autism and needs structure. Unfortunately his teacher is not that structured for him. (That is a story in itself:)
The largest challenges I am facing this year are the challenges of servicing the variety of students within the time allotted and within the general education curriculum while still attending to the individual goals of each of the 21 students on my case load. I am challenged also in that the powers that be believe that the 2nd grade group needs continuity of education, therefore I am required to teach the primary group of special education students without being the actual second dip which is commonly associated with the special education services from the past experience. This does not allow me to see the first grade or kindergarten students during their reading times as all the reading times are the same and I am responsible for two reading groups with in the second grade classroom and then I also am required to lead two intervention groups within the second grade classroom. I dont want to complain, I do like to structure of my schedule (its the same every morning!). Yet, I have a hard time completing IEP goals for students who are not receiving services from me but from my paraprofessional. Which, my paraprofessional is AWESOME, even though we dont get any time to actually talk with each other about expectations or how things are going, she is always putting forth her best foot!
This will be my second year working as a special education teacher with the Kansas City Kansas Public School District. This year I am working with Kindergarten, First Grade and Second Grade students with ranges of disabilities from learning disabilities, developmentally delayed and autism spectrum disorders. Although this is not a complete list of the ranges in disabilities I serve, it gives a broad idea. I came into this field through the long scenic journey. By this I mean I began as a parent, I then became a para professional, from there I worked to become a teacher. I taught in the same school my children went to school for 5 years before taking the plunge into special education. That gives you an idea of where I have come from and where I will be going with special education. I believe I am more in tune with the parents needs and making them comfortable when trying to make them understand their power in the process of supporting their children.
The classroom I am currently residing in is used in a variety of ways. Currently all the special education teachers and para educators have desk and work areas and storage in this room. The bridge teachers use the room for reading instruction. The special education team works in general education classrooms at all times - we are totally collaboration with no pull out services this year. It was a hard journey but it is beginning to work. In the morning before school you will find the teachers here discussing students and building relationships. During the school day you will be lucky to find us in the same area of the building together for more than 15 minutes. We are a large school with 600 students. Of the 600 students we service 50 students with IEP's and other students in the classrooms who show the same needs and weaknesses as our identified students.
Now my caseload - I have 9 kindergarten students who are in the same classroom from mild disabilities to autism spectrum disorders. I have 6 first grade students who are primarily learning disabled students and I have 6 second grade students who range from learning disabilities to ODD behaviors. I have one student who has a shunt in his head and has been over protected his career in school. I am fighting his learned helplessness, as we are finding he is able to do a lot of the work but tends to wait or ask for help instead of trying for himself! I have another second grade student who exhibits the characteristics of an ODD child and he does not follow rules or behavior plans that have been developed. Another second grade student refuses to believe he can do his work but when he has a good few moments, he is able to surpass the amount of work other students do - with accuracy! The other 3 students have ESL concerns that work against them as does their disability. The first grade students are wonderful! They want to learn, they try and they just dont get it! I do have one student who speaks spanish and tends to use the, "I dont understand what you are saying" card with me but she generally does her work and shows progress. The kindergarten classroom has nine students with disabilities. This classroom has had more than its share of disruptions for the year. The teacher had maternity leave from Halloween to just before Christmas break. In this classroom the students are ready to learn they want to do a good job and they put forth their best effort, usually. I have noticed that a few of the students have ESL issues and wonder about the accuracy of testing as some of the disabilities (used loosely) are associated to their language and understanding. In this kindergarten classroom is also one student who has autism and needs structure. Unfortunately his teacher is not that structured for him. (That is a story in itself:)
The largest challenges I am facing this year are the challenges of servicing the variety of students within the time allotted and within the general education curriculum while still attending to the individual goals of each of the 21 students on my case load. I am challenged also in that the powers that be believe that the 2nd grade group needs continuity of education, therefore I am required to teach the primary group of special education students without being the actual second dip which is commonly associated with the special education services from the past experience. This does not allow me to see the first grade or kindergarten students during their reading times as all the reading times are the same and I am responsible for two reading groups with in the second grade classroom and then I also am required to lead two intervention groups within the second grade classroom. I dont want to complain, I do like to structure of my schedule (its the same every morning!). Yet, I have a hard time completing IEP goals for students who are not receiving services from me but from my paraprofessional. Which, my paraprofessional is AWESOME, even though we dont get any time to actually talk with each other about expectations or how things are going, she is always putting forth her best foot!
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